Don’t End Your Life!

There Is A Way Out Of Your Despair!

If you’re contemplating suicide because you’re drowning in despair, don’t end your life! There’s a way out! Please don’t do anything before you read this post! I was where you are and I got out and I promise there’s an answer to your situation. Here’s my story.

Rescued and healed

I love this picture because it reminds me of how I used to feel: dirty and full of shame; a nobody from nowhere. I was divorced with 3 small children, about to lose my house, and living a very dirty life. I spent most of my money in bars trying to drown my sorrows with alcohol and every night when I’d get home, I’d think about suicide.

One evening during a hot and sultry Texas summer, I was lying in bed just trying to breath. I couldn’t afford air conditioning and the house felt like an oven. My children were asleep and I was alone with these tormenting thoughts. I could see no way out. My secretarial job didn’t come close to covering the bills and I knew my emotional state was tittering on the edge of collapse. My lifestyle only added more shame and guilt and I knew something had to change or I wouldn’t last much longer. The physical responsibility of my 3 kids and the emotional stress was killing me anyway, so why not just end it?

God, If You’re There…

1982 – Recently divorced – sorry, it’s a bit blurry, but aren’t my kids adorable?

I remember looking out my bedroom window at a pitch black sky. With a desperate whisper, I said, “God, if you’re there, do something!”

I didn’t feel anything change, but change did come. Over the next few months, I met a Christian man named Dave who became a good friend. He shared about his relationship with God and how it had changed his life. We had long conversations as he shared that true life doesn’t come from knowing about God; it comes from knowing God. I know about the President of the United States, but I don’t know him. See the difference?

Knowing About God

I was raised in a Christian home and went to church as a child. I knew stories like Jonah and the whale and Jesus on the cross, but hearing stories about someone isn’t the same as being in a close relationship. Dave said it was possible to personally know God, but you had to be perfect to be in relationship with Him. Well, I was far from perfect. I thought about all my drinking and shameful lifestyle and even I knew there was no way God would accept me. Then Dave said there was a way…through God’s Son, Jesus. Apparently, God loved me so much that He sent his Son to pay for all my screw-ups, drinking and carousing, for the times I neglected my kids, and for all the things only God and I knew about. Jesus being perfect came to carry all of my imperfection (sin) to the cross so I could walk away scot-free from the guilty sentence. It sounded too good to be true, but I decided it was time to let go of my awful life and grab hold of a better one.

Such An Easy First Step

All it took was one easy first step. One night sitting on the couch with my friend, I prayed a simple prayer. I acknowledged my guilt, told God how sorry I was, and asked God to accept Jesus’s payment for my sin. God accepted me into His family that very night and I began my personal relationship with the Creator of the universe. By studying the Bible and spending time in prayer, God began to heal the emotional issues in my life. He was so gentle and knew exactly how to peel back the layers of my heart exposing the wounds, healing them with His love. Eventually, I was completely set free from the addiction of alcohol and released to become who He created me to be.

Since that night, life has been one adventure after another. God showed me how to develop my gifts and personality as He intended. He uses my story to help others around the world and even sent me as a missionary overseas for 4 years. I am now married to a wonderful man. I teach a weekly Women’s Bible study and also tell my story to anyone who will listen (thanks for listening!). Remember, I’m a nobody from nowhere and yet…God has given me a great and purposeful life!

No Regrets

Missionary in Russia
In Moscow with my friend and translator, Tamara, in 2000.

Trusting God is a decision I will never regret. Our relationship has grown into something far bigger than I could have dreamed. I share my deepest thoughts with Him every morning and listen for what He has to say. His word continuously speaks into situations I face and gives me wisdom on what to do. I made that decision more than 30 years ago and in that time, I have faced many of life’s battles and heartaches, but God has seen me through each and every one. It’s hard sometimes letting go of the control and trusting God to fix things, but all too well I remember what happened to me when I was in control. I became a slobbering drunk who couldn’t handle life. Nope, don’t ever want to go back to that! I made a choice to let God take the wheel and He has never steered me wrong.

How About You?

Are you finding the stress too much to handle? Do you feel like your life isn’t worth living? Please don’t end your life! I found the way out. It’s a relationship with God, who created you and designed a special and unique plan for you. I encourage you to tell God that you want and need His help. Ask Jesus to make you perfect in God’s eyes, so you can have a personal relationship. After his death, Jesus was brought back to life and now sits in heaven watching over us. He has promised not only to guide us now, but he also promises eternal life. On the day our physical bodies die, our spiritual bodies will be united with God and with all our loved ones who trusted in Him. That life will be without any divorce, abuse, debt, or addiction. No more tears, no more suicidal thoughts! That’s a future worth choosing!

Won’t you take that first step today? It only takes a moment. Just talk to God like you would a friend. I’ll even give you an example of what I said so many years ago.

Step Into Freedom

Father God, I come broken and in need of your help. I’ve heard that Jesus died for me and that if I believe on Him that He will cover me with His perfection. I make the decision now to believe that Jesus died to pay for the wrongs I have done. I’m so sorry for all those things and I ask for your forgiveness. Please take control of my life and free me from this emotional and spiritual despair. Place me into the plan You designed for me. I ask You to be my Lord and Savior. Thank you for giving me a new life!  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Will you take one more step and write to me? The Bible says that when someone comes to the Lord that the angels rejoice in heaven. I would love to rejoice with them over your decision and pray for God to bless your life! I can’t wait to hear from you!

If you are still having trouble believing, please write and tell me. I would love to start a conversation and discuss it with you.

For more about emotional and spiritual healing, see my posts at Emotional and Spiritual Life.